Drainage Basin!

What a birthday!

It started off like any other day and I went to finally check my work email around 11:30. The agenda for the annual CA meetings was there from Friday which reminded me I needed to start preparing for my big presentation tomorrow. I checked the agenda for the meetings and noticed that my name wasn’t on the list for tomorrow. I got a terrible feeling in my gut. I checked the schedule for today and saw that I was supposed to present at 2:00…  TODAY!…  In 2 1/2 hours!… Holy crap.

I was still in my pajamas, no shower, no make-up, was home alone with Skye without a car, no clean clothes that were ready, and not to mention that I hadn’t even run through the PowerPoint slide show all the way without looking at the notes. I called Benjam and the clock started ticking.

Thankfully he was able to leave work and take care of Skye so I could take the car. Then I focused on getting ready, finding an outfit that could pass as clean, make-up, etc. Once Benjam got home I was so wound up I couldn’t concentrate on running through the presentation. Thank goodness I had a half hour to sort through the notes lamely enough to “wing it”…  Wing it….  Damn, not what I would have ever suggested to anyone to do for an audience of 75 oil industry execs and scientists.

I left home at 12:45, leaving just enough time to drop off my purse at my desk. Once I get to EGI and the place is deserted, I realize that everyone is across the street at the Marriott conference rooms. Great, like I wasn’t nervous enough. When I get over there I see the room and it is ginormous, the screen takes up the entire height of the wall and there are two free-standing speakers next to it. Fabulous, I’ll be using a microphone and every quiver of my voice will not only be heard, but amplified for those in the next room to hear. I take an empty seat at the back wall as the women before me starts her talk. She was speaking science-ese and I could not concentrate on one word she was saying.

The minutes dragged on forever, yet counted down rapidly. All I kept thinking was that, if I could survive 48 hours of labor induction and an emergency c-section, then I could certainly handle 30 minutes in front of a room of suits. Another thing that calmed my nerves was when one of these gentlemen in the rear of the room where I was sitting, farted so loud it was irrefutable. It was quite hilarious as we all sat still pretending that this man just didn’t let one rip. No lie.

Finally it’s my turn. I walk up to the podium, a useless podium where the microphone was taller than me just as our director handed me another microphone to attach to my shirt. I cleared my throat.  “Hello, my name is Chelsea and I’ll be giving you an overview of the Black Sea Phase 2 project.”  Cough. Loud cough, right into the mic. Great start. I go through the motions of my presentation without even realizing it, so far so good. Until I get to this one slide.  “Here is an example of isostatic residual gravity and the first vertical derivative which shows the… shows the…” …shows the what?

I completely blanked out and just sat up there for probably 30 seconds trying to think the correct phrase to finish the sentence. It was not coming, not even close. I could hear the humming of the lights the room was so quiet. I knew it had something to do with water, so I lamely said, shows present water!! Man, so not cool. I finish the rest of the talk, apparently hiding my nerves fairly well and walk back to my chair. Half-way through the next talk, the phrase comes to me… shows present day drainage basins! i wanted to stand up and yell it out to everyone. It’s not even a complex scientific idea that I should have understandably forgotten. Of all the things I forget, it’s drainage basins!

Ugh, well at least it’s over. Right?

As an added cherry on top, I get pulled over on the way home. Our registration has expired. Of all the days for a cop to notice that they have been expired since July. All I could do was laugh as the cop handed me the ticket.

Happy Birthday to me!