Author: mama

train of thought

I was taking the trash out–and really what better place to have an epiphany than near the dumpster–when I walked through our parking spot, which was void of the RAV. A car I have loved owning, mainly because of it’s reliability. Not seeing it in the stall threw me fast forward into the realm of all things Slovak and the reality of this, some would say, bizarro move we are making. Knots of excitement and nerves immediately tied up in my stomach. I asked myself, again, “why are we moving?”  Was I unhappy about something?  Was I running away from something, running towards something?  I then contemplated what in my life was of discontent. What in my life was I unhappy about?

The truth ran me over in the parking lot: nothing.

Holy hell, nothing!?! really!?!

I feel like my entire life I have been striving to be happy with what I have now, this moment. There has always been something that was going to make me happy, when I finally got it. Something was always standing in my way of real happiness, some struggle or inner unrest that kept me from being at peace. Now though, now, there is nothing in front of me, nothing but icing on the cake. I felt like I was moving through the thought of some watered down version of ascension or enlightenment, since this is not what I imagined it would feel like, in the cold, near the dumpster. The idea of ascension, of course, made me think of Stargate SG-1 (hey, I’m deep, what can I say?).  I thought, that was a good show, I miss that show. Aha! Something I wanted, more episodes of a sci-fi TV show. Go figure!

pleasant surprises of mommyhood

The fragrance of bananas on tiny hands when they are smooshing my nose.

Nonexistent personal space filled with small, dark eyes when they are inches from mine at 2am.

Endearing meltdowns when she just sits pouting at the injustice of it all.

Stuffy nose snoring through the baby monitor that sends me off to sleep.

Any one of a million different, toothless smiles.

Spending the last hour listening to the sounds of a 7 month old talking to herself.

Becoming the playground to be crawled over, sat on and toppled over.

Long, quiet walks.

Daily pulling of my lips, sticking her fingers in my nostrils and jabbing my eyes.

At times, being the only one she wants, until I hold her and she pushes away.

No matter how completely draining today may have been, I always look forward to doing it all again tomorrow.

prop 8

I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about the outcome of Proposition 8. But every time I do, I feel really sad for all of those families out there that can’t have the same civil liberties as everyone else; for all of the loved ones out there that have to be validated by someone else living hundreds of miles away; that other people’s prejudice and discrimination has a say in the way other people live and love.

The issue itself is either a moral or civil rights one, depending on which camp you reside, but for the life of me, I really, really, really don’t understand how one group can decide on the morality of another when the former is not causing any harm to anyone else. In every morality case I can think of – abortion, capital punishment, murder, theft, the guy cheating on his wife – someone else is getting hurt. But this, this just doesn’t make sense to me.

People that say “I don’t hate gay people, they just shouldn’t be allowed to get married”, um, excuse me, do you not see the hypocrisy in that statement, the hidden, subtle spite that you perpetuate? It makes me sad that hatred, ignorance and bigotry still has a huge place in people’s hearts.

how I met my husband

There was only one decision that I can think of that determined events:  My decision to leave the mold of Utah State and Cache Valley. God wasn’t fixing my early 20’s unrest – and why should it be so easy – so I left all I knew. Followed my gut and left what I no longer held near and dear. To start fresh, I wanted to work somewhere with what my interests were at the time. This happened to be astronomy and so naturally I went and applied at the Hansen Planetarium.    I even remember thinking at the time that I was pondering leaving Cache Valley, What If My Husband Is In SLC?

The fugitive entered my life in the fall of 1997. :)

tiggity tag by jizosh

9 T.V. Shows I watch:
1-heros
2-office
3-er
4-house hunters
5-law and order
6-bones
7-sweat equity
8-good eats
9-house hunters international

9 Favorite Restaurants:
1-rumbi
2-spag factory
3-settebello
4-jasons deli
5-subway/blimpie
6-einsteins
7-litzas
8-macaroni grill
9-cisero’s

9 Things that happened yesterday:
1-got up at 2am w skye
2-got up at 5am w skye
3-went on a 2 hour walk w neighborly friend
4-cleaned
5-answered work emails
6-changed a pruney diaper
7-clipped skye’s nails
8-paid some hospital bills
9-watched missed episodes of heros and office because of skyes bedtime ritual

9 things that I am looking forward too:
1-watching skye grow up
2-skye’s first christmas
3-coziness in the house w snow outside
4-european vacations
5-helping skye do her homework
6-getting benjam a computer
7-sleep
8-cousins for skye
9-retirement w benjam

9 things on my wish list:
1-another baby someday
2-fancy schmancy camera and the skills to use it
3-never having to redo my roots again
4-financial security for our families
5-a new car
6-more patience when learning new things
7-sleep
8-remodeling the house and new furniture to go w it
9-shopping spree

sleep regressions

Skye as been starting to wake up once, sometimes twice, during the night. I knew it couldn’t be a coincidence that it started happening once she started crawling and trying to stand up. But this article basically says to me “Babies are in one big growth spurt and developmental milestone, so get used to sleep deprivation FOREVER!!:

Continue reading “sleep regressions”

big cottonwood late afternoon

My parents bought us a baby back pack as a gift when I was pregnant. I’ve been contemplating whether or not we should take this cumbersome item to Slovakia since we hadn’t used it yet because Skye wasn’t big enough. We tried it out today on a short outing up Big Cottonwood. I’m glad we did because 1) the leaves up there are still gorgeous and 2) it validated taking the pack overseas. It was a fun lil family outing.