Welker Fam

Thought I should take a minute and document a day in the life. At 6am I get up to pump, leaving her in the arms of Benjam’s sleepiness. She usually eats around 7 and then we take a nap when Benjam leaves for work. She gets up to eat again around 9-10 and then eats again. At this point she’ll either take another nap or be awake for 2-4 hours. Whichever one she doesn’t do, she’ll do afterwards. During her alert time, after she eats, she’s interested in the playmat or the crib mirror or the swing or other toys. We’ll do tummy time or take a walk or just swing outside or read. When she gets bored of this, anywhere from 1-2 hours, she starts getting cranky and needs help falling asleep. She’ll get these little whiny whimpers and her eyes will be half opened as she fights it, yet still wants me to make it better. So we have to walk around the house with her on my shoulders, or rocking in a chair, or pat her back while burping her or any number of random motions to help her fall away to dreamland. By time time Benjam gets home around 6, she’s usually on another bottle and always finds a way to be fussy/needy when dinner is ready. She’ll take another nap (on the boppy or on in my arms) before all hell breaks loose as she enters her fussy time. I guess I should call it her screaming-her-head-off time. She’s inconsolable and we just have to let her wail it out or try to find the exact configuration of what she wants. I can get her asleep by 1, after a feeding and she’s good until a 4-5 feeding until she gets hungry again in the morning. Repeat. Even though she’s not sleeping a whole lot at night, at least I can recognize some sort of pattern to her days in anticipation of what’s ahead. She is still very sensitive to having one of us hold her to get her to sleep and while this is down right daunting and exhausting at times, she’s our little snugglebug and can’t get enough of her.

Now if the little stinker would eat, sleep and play on demand!  I’m sure I’m doing something wrong. I don’t think I’m fostering the best habits, but how can I resist snuggling with her at night?  She still needs a warm body to fall asleep, but then I fall asleep too, on accident. So it’s going to be hard to ween her off that!  She doesn’t stay asleep very well, except during the day when she doesn’t have to. For example, she’s been asleep for 4 hours today! What I wouldn’t give to get that in the middle of the night, in her own bed (crib would be best, but pack’n’play would work too).  Damn, jinxed it, she’s starting to stir.

So baby Skye is about 5 weeks old. What a month it’s been! We’re still trying to figure it all out, since it has turned out to be only an inkling of what we though it would be. We love her to pieces and adore her to a fault. But there’s no denying it, it’s really challenging. Mostly the lack of sleep and the fussiness. If these things were not present, there wouldn’t be anything bad about parenting. She is also very needy and clingy. I guess this is to be expected as she knows nothing of this new world of hers. But when she’s not sleeping, she basically needs to be held the entire duration she is awake and also needs to fall asleep in someone’s arms. So when she is asleep, I have the choice of napping too, or trying to pump or do something productive around the house. Even returning a phone call takes effort and planning. We don’t really have a sleep regiment set up either, making it difficult to deal with the impending nights day after day. We’ve tried sleeping in basically every room of the house, with her on my chest or in her crib or pack-n-play or bouncy seat. The problem lies in being there within a time window where you can feed her when she’ll go right back to sleep afterwards, or be awake for another 1-2 hours, or scream at the top of her lungs. But there is no comfortable place for me to sleep where I can be right next to her when I can be there for this window, without waking Benjam. I already feel bad for needing him so early in the morning. But I don’t pump from midnight to 6am. If I don’t start at 6 though, I’m afraid my supply will start to diminish. Every time I pump I swear it will be the last though because it’s somewhat stressful trying to always fit it in when Skye needs something at the same time I need to pump. We really feel like it is the best gift to give her right now and Benjam wants to feed her boobie juice until 6 months. But it is so time consuming and seems so counter productive when I just give her a bottle right before or after I pump a bottle full. I really wish we had the energy to try and train her to the breast, but it seems so daunting and challenging, with no guarantee’s anyways and she’s always ready to protest with her last screaming breath if she’s not fed right away. This leads to hours of screaming and is avoided at all costs.

Other than these challenges, we can’t keep our eyes off of her and her ever changing face and body. She’s already 8+ pounds and has a few rolls developing on her legs, arms and face. At least she’s healthy, what else could we ask for! She’s more and more alert between naps and feedings. She can hold your gaze and has just begun to look curiously at books and toys. She can grasp slightly, but I don’t know if that is her intent or not. She still plays with her mouth and tongue a bit and makes silly cute faces. Her arm and leg reflexes are still out of her control and you can just see her little synapses firing off and trying to grow. She also likes to pee/poo when you change her diaper, making us use 2-3 diapers when we really only need to use 1. And today when I was talking and singing to her and showing her toys and books, I could see her trying to figure out how to form a smile with her entire face. It made me so excited for when she does it for the first time, on purpose, in response to something we do. Sometimes I feel like we don’t enjoy her enough and only stress about our crazy schedule. When she is sleeping peacefully is when we really emit most of our love. So I hope she’s not getting only the stressful energy but the huge amounts of love we have for her as well. But, things are starting to get better, if only for the fact that we are used to it by now and the limits she has and how to read her little bit better every day. Also, Benjam and I are starting to remember that we are married and the other one is still here, albeit just going through the motions. Next week is our third anniversary and we are going to spend it at a hotel with grandma Veda watching the home front. We also need to implement a date night, since baby Skye demands both of us throughout the entire day, that sometimes we barely have time for a good night or good morning kiss. It is quite the sweetest thing ever though, seeing the two of them together.

I look back at her day of birth pics and can’t believe she’s already grown and changed so much. It only makes me more excited and anxious for the next stages when she will be able to respond and interact more. OK, well she’s squeaking and stirring herself awake so I better go get her bottle ready or try and fit in a pumping session. But Oh, how in love we are.

So our dear baby Skye is 2 weeks old. How can I possibly describe what she means to us? After everything we have been through, she is finally here and an absolute perfect doll. The love we feel for her is limitless and we simply can’t stop looking, hugging, kissing and touching her. She loves snuggly time, specifically tummy time on my or daddy’s chest. If it were up to her, she’d be held 24/7, and we’d probably comply if it were at all possible. She sleeps most of the time, but does have moments after eating of alertness where she’ll just slowly blink and investigate the new world around her through her dark, smoky eyes. She eats bottle-fed breast milk every 1-4 hours, which makes night time long and enduring. But even then, it’s special time just being with her. She makes it impossible to be frustrated with, even in moments of screeching crying sessions or when she dirties a diaper that was just changed, or better yet, pee’s on the diaper currently being changed. She has a small voice she uses as squeaks and squeals whether she’s sleeping or trying to wriggle a free arm from daddy’s award-winning swaddle, which she loves, by the way. She’s also found her tongue, although, whether she knows what to do with it is another idea. She makes the most adorable mouth gestures, flipping her tongue in and out of her mouth, or forming large O’s with her lips or suckling the air just to reaffirm that she does know how to do so. She is vaguely aware of her arms and legs, stretching them straight outward whenever they are set free or attempting to grab something, anything. She can’t hold her head up yet, but don’t tell her that.

Skye Alison Welker was born April 2, 2008 at the University of Utah hospital via c-section. She was 5lb. 12oz. and 19 inches long.

So last Tuesday, April 1, we went to our scheduled OB appointment. We all concluded that with the mild pre-eclampsia (high BP, swelling) and IUGR and low AFI, that it was time to deliver! Today. Right now. Go upstairs and be admitted.

Yikes.

We had been waiting for this moment forever, but when she said that, my stomach dropped a few levels. We walked hand in hand to the elevators and up to the second floor to Labor and Delivery. We were both giddy and excited and scared and nervous and pale and sweaty and shaky. We got checked into our room. It was a very strange moment walking in to that room, knowing we would be leaving with our baby girl. It was just an ordinary room, like a hotel room really, with the exception of medical equipment and a baby warmer station in the corner. They showed us in and left us for a minute, told me to get undressed to be hooked to the monitors and basically assume my position in the bed. Benjam and I shared nervous chit-chat about finally being here and what we were about to finally go through, not having the slightest idea what to expect. At this point, we were both fairly remiss about not taking any sort of birthing class. But that time had passed and now we just had to deal with our ignorance and regrettable decision. We made a few phone calls to let people know of the new development and what the plan of action was. Continue reading “Birth Story”