Our little corner of the interwebs
I thought I should post some pics of Skye’s favorite room, hers! I don’t know why, but it’s really calming and relaxing in there. Maybe it’s because so much time and effort went into creating it for her. I still remember vividly Benjam and I talking about how, soon, there would be a little person to fill up all the furniture we had for her, use all the clothes and diapers that were ready to go, and just trying to imagine what she would be like, and if she would ever get here!
today is my second round with Skye all by myself with nothing to do (there was one day I had her where we were so busy that day, I hardly had time to notice the day go by). it’s amazing how difficult it is to entertain a person who’s vocabulary is non-existent, and who’s skill set consists of drooling and whining.
she woke up today at around 8a (not counting her nightly feedings and hour-long wide awake moments), and since I was working on my projects last night, I didn’t get to bed until around 1-2a, so I was pretty tired when she woke up. I took her downstairs and tried to fall asleep with her on my chest on the couch to no avail. she has this thing about being on anybody’s chest when she’s not either already asleep, or too tired to care. she gets really uncomfortable and just squirms around until you have to get up and pace the room with her in your arms. so I did that… and she finally fell asleep at around 10a, so I put her on the boppy.
around 10:45, she stirred and ended up with her face in the boppy, which isn’t a position that lends itself to a safe feeling for any parent, so I thought I could gently pick her up and have her quickly fall back asleep with her on my chest on the couch (I’m still pretty tired at this point), but alas… she woke up and was ready for another bottle and some more awake time.
after trying to get her to sit calmly for longer than ten minutes in any one position, she fell asleep again at around 1p, so I ate my now stale sandwiches, and got sucked into a television show (my fault, I know, I should have taken my nap).
she awoke at around 2:30p and I gave her another bottle, and a diaper change, and tried to fall asleep with her (I’m still really tired), so I pulled her close to the couch in her favorite chair and took a little cat nap until she started getting bored about 10 minutes later, so I turned the chair around so she could watch the TV, but that only lasted for about 10 minutes as well.
I got up, feeling mildly rested and decided a walk might put her to sleep. I got everything ready, went outside and it was nice, not too hot, cloudy, with barely a sprinkle of rain… until I got about two blocks away from my house… then the sun came out, in full force, and the temperature went up about 10-15 degrees. I didn’t have a hat for her, and I was getting pretty hot, so I turned around and walked back home.
as I walked in the house, she fell asleep, so I went downstairs to fix another issue with my projects, and have finished that, and now here I am, with my little girl, still strapped to my chest in the baby carrier, she’s beginning to get really fidgety, and I’ve just finished this post, with enough time available to go and get another bottle ready so she can fall asleep for 20 more minutes before Chels gets home.
maybe then I can take a nap… or maybe not.
My new favorite time of day is when I put down Skye for her second nap in the morning. The first nap she falls asleep on my morning walk. The second, and only guaranteed nap time, I can set my clock to. We go upstairs to the nursery, close the blinds and turn on some lullabies and have the fan humming in the background. She’s already had a bottle and is sleepy. Her entire body is pressed with the ultimate trust and comfort on the left side of my chest; her diapered bum cupped in my hand; her feet dangling under my supportive arm; the top of her head pressed against my jaw; her right hand grasping my shirt collar; the left hand is balled in a fist; her chin or cheek is resting lazily on my shoulder and her sweet aroma fills my nose. And we just dance and sway in a circle quietly. With each deep breath she exhales, her body becomes more and more limp until she finally falls asleep.
Skye doesn’t fit in the bobby so much anymore. She used to be able to fit her entire body within the middle. I don’t know what we’ll do when she can’t fit into the only place she’ll nap.
I just had my first “poo everywhere” experience.
I had Skye in the swing so that I could do my noon pumping and I got a call from a student at work so I didn’t hear Skye unload what seemed like 3 days worth of crap. After I pumped I picked her up and set her on the boppy so that I could give her her thrush medicine.
At first I thought I just spilled the medicine since it’s the same color as her poo. I did that this morning too–somehow got her medicine all over the lower half of her body. So I thought, great, I did it again. Then I noticed it near her legs and had the “uh oh” moment. There it was. All over the lower half of the left side of her body. She just sat there, happy as a clam, and why not, I always feel better after a big dump, too.
So then I see it on my pants and my arm and her clothes and the blanket. I don’t think I put the diaper on center or something, not that it mattered at that point. I cleaned up a little bit with a paper towel, but that only seemed to make it spread somehow. I took her upstairs to clean her up and had the realization that she probably did this masterpiece while she was in the swing. After I got her all cleaned up, I went to check and sure enough, there in the corner of the swing was the biggest pile of poo yet. Just sitting there in a puddle. Yes, there was enough to make a puddle. A poo puddle. I had to take the padding off of the swing and saw that it was also on the straps that don’t come off easily. So then I went downstairs and added to the laundry that I already did this morning after the medicine mishap all of the above mentioned items painted with her yellow-seeded poo.
I heard her laugh for the first time yesterday, and not just the little ‘heh’ that she puts out sometimes (which is pretty cute in itself), but a full-on laugh! Chels had told me that she heard her laugh a couple of days ago, and I was understandably a bit jealous that I missed it. Then I was holding her on my lap as I do, and was doing nothing more than talking with her and squishing her cheeks (and why wouldn’t you, have you seen them? they’re so squishable) and she was smiling more and more, and then it happened. I couldn’t believe it, it was so adorable, I couldn’t help but laugh, which scared her a bit, but then I stopped, and started squishing her cheeks again, and she did it again! That was it, I lost it, I was laughing so hard, it was hilarious. She didn’t laugh again, but she gave me a few more smiles.
My amazing little girl got a sense of humor finally, although I’m still not sure what triggers it. As soon as I find out though…
I don’t think Skye looks particularly like Benjam or I. However, when I look in her face, I see something very familiar.
I think Skye’s skin is softer than porcelain.
Looking back, I wish I would have stuck with trying to breastfeed a little longer. Knowing that that stressful state of sleep walking would pass, I wish I would have persevered through.
Something has clicked and I feel myself returning to normal. My patience seems to have come back as well. Although a little bit of sleep loss seems to take all of that away.
Thrush sucks.
100 degree weather also sucks when it makes your dog shed bucketfuls, and no amount of vacuuming will get it all.
Well, regarding the business of sleeping, she still will rarely fall asleep on her own. She still needs to be rocked, walked or bounced. She will, however, sleep in her crib most of the time and go back to sleep fairly quickly at night after a feeding. She still gets up 1-2 times a night to eat too. Last night she got up twice, and the second time wouldn’t go back down for an hour! But that’s pretty rare. I was pretty tired all day until she laughed for me for the first time! The tired-pain went away in an instant. What a laugh it was too! A great big deep, belly laugh. I tried desperately to get her to do it again or get it on film, but of course I couldn’t; just got a million of the same thing. I can’t wait till I can hear that sound more often, I was elated!
She can’t deliberately grasp at anything yet either, but she has a pretty good swat going on. She can hold her neck up for the most part and raise her body off her arms when she’s being held. Of course she can hold her own weight on her legs; she has the famous Christensen leg strength. She is still eating about the same; 2-3 oz every 2-3 hours. She’s found a few vowel sounds that are pretty dang cute when she coo’s, if I do say so myself.
We’ve taken her out a few times. I don’t usually like to because we pay for it later when we get home and she hasn’t slept in hours or missed a nap or two. But as she grows, I think I’ll feel less apprehensive about it. I think she’d do fine, it’s all me and my insecurities. Here are some pics from a softball game and her first 4th of July at her cousin’s house.
I don’t know why, but it’s been bothering me that I haven’t been able to describe or define the love I have for Skye. I’ve been mulling it over and the closest thing I can think of, the best comparison, is of being full. Those fleeting moments of being full throughout one’s life.
The kind of full that you feel after running or exercising to your full potential; that rush of your entire body pulsing from working in unison, the feeling of world domination and extreme optimism. The kind of full you feel when you’re outside after a big snow storm, it’s early morning or late at night and the world is as quiet as it gets, like the snow is absorbing all noise and you can just feel the presence of the entire Earth at that moment. The kind of full you feel when you are wrapped up in the arms of a loved one, with not a care or obligation in the back of your mind, just love for one another. It’s that quiet peace. But with Skye, it’s a constant warming of the heart and soul, there is nothing fleeting about it.
Then when Benjam is in the room and he feels the same way, the entire house just feels right, and that everything is as it should be. This love for Skye overflows. This love for Benjam overflows. And then there is just a big gooey mess of love and I feel so Full that I may just, no really, explode from it all. Who knew that all of this was contained in a minuscule embryo?